robotics makes me feel loved

[theladyrose]

You know that famous poem by Andrew Marvell, To His Coy Mistress? While cleaning out my desk I discovered a satirical response from said mistress, a collaborative effort written by dragonfly66, glerf, thehashmark and me two years ago. Yes, these things can come back to haunt you.


Yesterday I received your letters
Now I wish to see you in fetters
As the father of your coy mistress
I did note her great distress
From your presence she did flee
Now you’ve greatly angered me
The reason why my child’s coy
Is that she does not want you, boy!
May you go blind ‘fore you see her breast
And dead before you glimpse the rest!
The vegetables mentioned in your ballad
I’d rather eat in a salad
The floods will wash away your lust
The waters turn your love to rust
I’d rather she don nuns’ robes of gray
Than Victoria’s Secret lingerie
You shall not have my little queen
Now so young and pure and clean
Of my wrath you should take heed
Or else that winged chariot you’ll need
Were you to wander the desert for a thousand years
You wouldn’t merit a glimpse of her ears
Although my girl’s beauty is hard to match
You had better find another catch
For if she were to sleep with you
Your painful demise would soon ensue
My daughter’s love belongs to one
To the Holy Father, Ghost and Son
My daughter will be wed to Christ
I’m sure HIS love will quite suffice
If the dank grave she should meet
Well then the Lord she will soon greet
Her virginity, now white and pure
Shall not be wasted on your paramours
Her maidenhood and early years
Will be spent instead amongst her peers
Women cloaked in white and black
And of love they feel no lack
For gracing the Lord wastes not their time
There is no better way to spend their prime
Years when others do bulge and groan
Now her praying skills she’ll hone
Her sweetness spent on but the wooden cross
For Jesus, not you, is her boss
She’ll watch the sun pass like balls
In the calm confines of her convent walls

Comments

[latina-business.livejournal.com]

My favorite line She'll watch the sun pass like balls.

So crisp, so clear.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

You can thank Kerstin for that imagery :P