robotics makes me feel loved

[theladyrose]

You know that famous poem by Andrew Marvell, To His Coy Mistress? While cleaning out my desk I discovered a satirical response from said mistress, a collaborative effort written by dragonfly66, glerf, thehashmark and me two years ago. Yes, these things can come back to haunt you.


Yesterday I received your letters
Now I wish to see you in fetters
As the father of your coy mistress
I did note her great distress
From your presence she did flee
Now you’ve greatly angered me
The reason why my child’s coy
Is that she does not want you, boy!
May you go blind ‘fore you see her breast
And dead before you glimpse the rest!
The vegetables mentioned in your ballad
I’d rather eat in a salad
The floods will wash away your lust
The waters turn your love to rust
I’d rather she don nuns’ robes of gray
Than Victoria’s Secret lingerie
You shall not have my little queen
Now so young and pure and clean
Of my wrath you should take heed
Or else that winged chariot you’ll need
Were you to wander the desert for a thousand years
You wouldn’t merit a glimpse of her ears
Although my girl’s beauty is hard to match
You had better find another catch
For if she were to sleep with you
Your painful demise would soon ensue
My daughter’s love belongs to one
To the Holy Father, Ghost and Son
My daughter will be wed to Christ
I’m sure HIS love will quite suffice
If the dank grave she should meet
Well then the Lord she will soon greet
Her virginity, now white and pure
Shall not be wasted on your paramours
Her maidenhood and early years
Will be spent instead amongst her peers
Women cloaked in white and black
And of love they feel no lack
For gracing the Lord wastes not their time
There is no better way to spend their prime
Years when others do bulge and groan
Now her praying skills she’ll hone
Her sweetness spent on but the wooden cross
For Jesus, not you, is her boss
She’ll watch the sun pass like balls
In the calm confines of her convent walls

Comments

I have one of those, too!

[a-mire.livejournal.com]

Though I, too, find refusals dull,
I am not coy, just sensible.
Had I more time, I'd leave our race
To find a man of slower pace--
Too quick a man rolls on his side;
His lady, left unsatisfied,
Becomes a toy used at is leisure
Rather than for both their pleasure.

It bores me when you rave about
my youthful look. I have no doubt
you think you love me, though I've guessed
Your love-- and eyes-- are for each breast,
And more, I think, below my waist.
'Tis wise for you to still your haste
And give yourself some time to think
With heart and mind, not eyes and drink.
I want my suitor quick of heart
And patient with his other part.
A man who keeps his courtship slow
Will give his love more time to grow.

At my back, too, I hear the clock
As fast as yours, tick-tock, tick-tock.
In time, you'll learn more of my soul,
and older men have more control.
True, beauty fades, but so does sight,
And who can tell in depth of night?
So, though you claim to love me thus,
A love that fades with youth is lust,
And not worth seconds of my days
If your heart lies-- and lies in lays.
Rather I should die a prude
Than living, love a love so crude.

Now, therefore, while I've youthful hue,
I'll take the time that I am due
To grow a love with deeper roots
And weed out those who crush my shoots.
Your words are all about my skin
And nothing that is held within--


Naught of sweetness in the fruit--
Just drooling verses of a brute.
In basing love on what you see,
I think you too much flatter me.

So realize, though I don't despise
you if you love me with your eyes
(or somewhere else) I'll wait to find
A man who loves my heart and mind.

Re: I have one of those, too!

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

That was just lovely! It rather reminds me of Shrew :) How's that project going?

[latina-business.livejournal.com]

My favorite line She'll watch the sun pass like balls.

So crisp, so clear.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

You can thank Kerstin for that imagery :P