vie quotidienne

[theladyrose]

I've come to the mildly depressing conclusion that when I LJ, I'm angsty, pretentious, flippant or preachy. Most of the time I'm actually fine, but it's hard to squeeze a word in when I feel like I ought to be doing something productive or ought to have something extraordinary or meaningful to say. Hence my tendency for introspective rambles.

It's been a crazy year on campus - since classes started the last week of August, there have been 2 hit and runs, 4 rapes two blocks away from where I live and 1 guy stabbed dead also two blocks from where I live. Over 400+ other students hospitalized for a particularly nasty stomach virus within the past week alone. Admissions recruiting this year will be fun. Coupled with the plunging stock market and the onset of midterms, anxiety levels have been high. I've been trying to cut down on the extraneous noise in my life. Funnily enough, having to actually wake up early for classes/work has been, well, a wake-up call in getting my priorities straight. Admittedly I'm still figuring out how to make it all work as I missed my 8 AM class both times this week and have a midterm for it on Wednesday - oops.

Keeping up with classes, work and research while trying to get everything together for grad school makes me appreciate simpler luxuries a lot more - sleep, for one. I went through this unnecessarily complicated conundrum about whether or not I should graduate early next spring but have decided to stay a full 4 years (yay, scholarship coverage!) so that I can write an honors thesis (trust me to pick a pretentious reason). The convenient thing is that I can use data from the paid research I'm doing on older adults and the effects of emotion regulation on memory and interpretation of facial expressions. Staying a full 4 years also means that I can probably keep my current job as well as take those film and TV music elective classes taught by Jon Burlingame. It sounds rather strange to say that I feel content when I've balanced my checkbook, written two papers in advance and haven't had a group of 70 year old research participants stage a mutiny on me (sadly, I didn't make that last one up).

It also helps tremendously that X seems to be feeling happier and healthier than she has been in months, so I'm really glad for her. It's been nearly a year since she's been this talkative; I just hope that this is pointing to a positive trajectory of recovery.

For now, I'm willing to accept small things as victories where I can find them. I love the blessed peace of curling up on the denim-slip covered couch in our living room with the hazy Los Angeles sun streaming in through the crooked blinds and the distant roar of cars on the motorway outside. It's hard not to view writing as a decadent luxury, but I'm trying to get myself to work on various pieces in different stages of completion. I've bee meaning to finish this Agatha Christie tribute story featuring two certain spy guys for ages...

Comments

[andrew-day.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to send you that mix CD I made.

Rawr. I can't sleep. It doesn't matter if I go to class tomorrow or not, though I should. But I am sick and I am calling out of work tomorrow morning. Either that or I am just lonely and depressed, but things will get better.

I may or may not have a date with a 35-year-old woman. The age difference doesn't bother me so much. I mean, my first boyfriend is turning 30 this June.

I sounded pretentious as fuck in those e-mails I sent her.

Oh, BTW, you are totally coming up to Olympia sometime soon, right? I will cook for you and let you sleep on my couch.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

Take care of yourself. I played hookey from work and research (which is also work as I get paid) last Friday with my supervisor's permission. I'm excited to hear about your potential date; age doesn't really matter as long as you have the chemistry :) There was almost a double digit age gap between me and my ex when I was a freshman. Is there a good time for me to call you in the next few days to talk and see how you're doing?

Unfortunately the only holidays I have this semester are Thanksgiving and the day after. I might be able to visit you sometime during winter break, depending on how my dad's doing.

[eldritchhobbit.livejournal.com]

Hang in there! The small victories are victories worth celebrating. I'm glad to hear X is doing better.

It does sound like it's been a crazy year - yikes!

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

It's been unexpected, but nothing that one can't handle. I hope that the semester's been going well for you; I've been enjoying your Halloween posts :)

[one-blankpage.livejournal.com]

small victories make life. I hope things go well for you.

Just wanted to drop by with a note - I wake up everyday to the theme from diving bell and butterfly that you gave me on your mix CD...Thank you!! :)

♥

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

Thanks; it's good to hear from you! I can't wait to hear about your time in China when you have the chance to write.

I'm really glad that you liked the diving bell and the butterfly theme. It's one of my favorites, too, and really helps me think :)

[laleia.livejournal.com]

Um, has the number of rapes been up to 4? I've been checking my DPS Incident reports even though I'm not in L.A. and I didn't remember that many. Somehow, SC sounds way more dangerous than I've ever thought it ...

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

The sexual assaults were actually rapes, according to my trusty sources in APASS and Cardinal Gardens. This year has been crazy with public security; they just indefinitely tabled a USG resolution about banning "outsiders" from having access to recycling bins...