if equal affection cannot be

[theladyrose]

To be honest, Valentine's Day never really meant much to me. I've never had anything against it, but neither have I seen it as fairytale romance on crack. Calling February 14 Singles Awareness Day strikes me as rather silly.

Maybe I'm just terribly idealistic and having always been single at this time of year has skewed my perception of this day as much less passionate than the media and the marketers portray. In a weird way, I've always treated Valentine's Day as a sort of second Christmas where you give friends and family something small, preferably edible, as a token of your platonic affection for them. Spreading love doesn't have to be romantic. All of my roommates looked pleasantly flabbergasted when I gave them wrapped bundles of candy; unfortunately, I forgot to send my parents V-day cards, so I'm brining them a bouquet of chocolate roses tomorrow. I baked two dozen chocolate cookies and anonymously put them by the doorstep of a crush.

Call me childish, but that's what Valentine's Day is to me: simple and sweet (literally). If something actually develops with the guy I'm interested in, that's great; if it doesn't, nothing's changed and I haven't lost anything in the process. At least I can tell myself that I tried something.

A number of my single college friends have proclaimed themselves virulently anti-Valentine; the ones who don't have midterms tomorrow are out commiserating their single status with Jack Daniels and probably venting about why guys are clueless assholes. I decided to stay in and catch up on reading so that I have more time to spend with my parents and friends this weekend when I'm home. Being angry about Valentine's Day doesn't do you any good; vilify romance all you want, but you still can't deny how much romantic aspirations control what you want and how you feel. We're all human and do stupid, awful things to each other; much as I love those friends (and really, I do), we're partially to blame for our relationship woes as well, especially in hyping up our expectations of what a romantic partner should be and then blaming a potential love interest for not being the ideal. Treat others as you wish to be treated, and hopefully some good will come of it. I don't think I'm optimistic enough to believe in karma at the moment, but studies generally show that we end up regretting what we didn't do more than what we did.

Comments

[hippiegal22.livejournal.com]

Valentine's Day works better if you celebrate all the people you love in your life-not just the person who you have romantic feelings for. This year my husband bought my daughter and I matching teddy bears and cards for the two of us. :)

But Easter's right around the corner. I prefer bunnies and lambs to cupids any day.

[lifeisacookie.livejournal.com]

I've always disliked Valentine's Day - mainly because i feel like people rub my singleness in my face. It wouldn't be so bad if the people around me didnt take it as an excuse to make out in front of doors(consequently blocking them) and compare how many roses their boyfriend got them. But this year that didn't happen much, and so it wasn't all that bad. I had a radio show where i played sweet songs as well as bitter ones, and it felt very cathartic. I can't be all bitter about Valentine's day, though - that's when i had my first kiss. Isn't that sickeningly cute? But this year, it inspired me to take a little action with someone i've had my eye on. Don't exactly know what i'm going to do yet, but i know i'm going to do something. But i think you're right - being bitter just to be bitter on Valentine's Day is just a waste of a good Thursday(or Friday, or Saturday...)

[lehah.livejournal.com]

Valentine's Day is an unnatural human horror that falls between two shitty Catholic holidays and somewhere on the scale between biological warfare and male-on-male rape.

You're unable to escape the necessity of buying your girlfriend (or boyfriend if he's "that way") something that means nothing to them - an obligation like getting your oil changed or buying someone else's kid a birthday present. You're forced to do it simply because you don't want to end up a social pariah through rumor and gossip. God forbid if you don't get her something on this, most holy of days!

On the other hand, if you're fortunate enough to be single, you have to remember that while you're sitting in your house in the shit-steam heat of personal rejection, masturbating to Eva Angelina pornography, that someone not nearly as good looking as you is off mouth-fucking some woman he doesn't deserve.

The insult isn't that someone is filling some girl's various holes or even that she wants him to - the insult is that you can't escape the feeling of dejection, inadequacy, frustration, loneliness, guilt and self-loathing no matter what you do, single or not.

Unlike Christmas which had a meaning at one point, Valentine's Day is a piss-fuck-and-shit day in which no one ends up winning. It fills the coffers of holiday card makers like Saint Patrick's Day fills the stomachs of the working man with cheap Irish whiskey. But at least at the end of that day, you vomit from the whiskey and not the holiday its self.

[one-blankpage.livejournal.com]

valentines day is like yom kippur.
i know it exists, i know people celebrate it, i'm happy to help others celebrate it, but it doesn't affect me.