thank God, school for scandal and other odds and sods

[theladyrose]

I'm not a religious person, but seriously, Thank God Jerry Falwell's dead.

In other news (rather trivial in comparison) was contacted by a reporter at the Daily Trojan for this article, but unfortunately we never did catch hold of each other at the same time. I really don't want to buy into the hoary old PR cover up business, but Rowan-Badger, the director of admissions of USC's College of Letters, Arts and Sciences did not contact the current non-exec College Ambassadors about participating in the admissions office's officially helmed version of the current College Ambassadors program. If it weren't for the e-mail that Scott sent all of the current Ambassador, I would've never known that the student-run Ambassadors organization was being dissolved in the first place. Saying that I'm disappointed by all of the misinformation and miscommunication is an understatement - I expect better of our admissions office and used to have great respect for the admissions officers I encountered. (Well, save for that one time I found the Facebook profile of the person who admitted me. That was mildly scarring.) I'd really like to continue meeting with prospective students and conducting scholarship interviews and the like, but I'd like to work with people who actually respect current students, too. We'll see how the power struggle plays out.

How is it that each semester one of the student organizations I belong to has some messy front page story attached to it? First semester there's the whole Daily Trojan editor resignation/firing mess, and now the Ambassadors. I'm almost afraid for CIRCLE now - thankfully there's actually the funds to run this seminar to educate about and advocate Asian Pacific American (APA) issues. We need this kind of community awareness raising, especially in light of the Virginia Tech tragedy. I'm really hoping we can add a unit about APA attitudes towards mental health and disability, issues that particularly drive me. Luckily I'm a TA for this program next fall with several of my friends such as laleia, so this should be exciting.

In a semi-superficial way, I suppose that if I've changed at all after my first year of college, it's that I've transformed into "Asian activist girl." I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that I'm probably one of the 10-15 most "involved" freshmen in APA issues at USC; roughly 22% of USC's undergrad population is of Asian descent. The truth is, though, that activism is such a nebulous concept; how the heck do you go around "spreading awareness" anyway? And what makes a certain class of issues more worthy of personal dedication? I'm wary of narrowing myself intellectually; yes, we do discuss how socioeconomic, health, media representation, etc. issues affect APAs, and we're particularly trying to shed light on gender and sexual orientation matters. But the more we talk about how fragmented the APA community is with the geographical and cultural divisions of India and Southeast Asia (Thailand, Cambodia, the Philippines) and East Asia and the lack of any kind of common language, the more difficult I find it to convince myself that we do have any kind of core Asian identity outside that which others impose upon us.

There's a lot of talk of cultural genocide and oppression by the Man, but I find it's too easy to forget there are the bigots as well as the tolerant in any group of people. Honestly, I think I've come across more prejudiced Asians than enlightened ones; I think I can safely say that most Asian immigrants lean towards the politically and culturally conservative. And yet with most people, I don't believe that they are by nature hateful or purposefully discriminative people; they just grew up with a narrow-minded battery of beliefs. I can only hope that when they're introduced to other, more generally humanitarian views they'll re-evaluate their own perspective. But how you can persuade the conservative to accept other alternative ways of thinking, I don't really know. And I refuse to believe that my own views are necessarily the best and necessary to impose on others. In this way, I don't think I'm the greatest activist because I'll always have a certain degree of doubt, and I wonder if I have enough resolve or even assertiveness. It's not that I don't think that advocating a certain class of issues is important; it's just that there are so many matters that I think are important that are just as worthy of attention that I find that my attention is diffused. No, you can't really focus on all issues at the same time, but in the end I find certain other causes, particularly mental health, to have more of a personal calling. I don't know why that feels like such a paradox, though, with being involved in a current set of issues while always wondering about others when they all find ways of intersecting and relating to each other. I guess it's because very rarely do I find closure about anything, and I'm learning how to manage with this perpetual sense of ambiguity. And that's OK, really.

The funny thing is that I don't really feel like the APA activist type to begin with; I'm probably one of the most (if not the most) assimilated people I know - my knowledge of Cantonese extends to being able to name dim sum dishes. I'm not kidding when I say that my nonexistent Italian sounds much better than the pitiful few Chinese words I mangle. I've managed to pass among my college friends by smiling and nodding a lot. The sad thing is that I don't think I could squeeze in any Chinese language classes into my schedule, and honestly, I'd rather perfect my French or brush up on Italian or take Czech or Japanese or something crazily interesting. I still have so much to learn.

It's nice that I finally have the time now to figure out where my mind has run off to. If I ever manage to land a job at this rate (thanks to leflyingolive about the Teuscher's tip off). Besides last summer, this is the first time since 2nd grade I've found myself not participating in some kind of academic course in between the official school year, and I'm afraid that my brain is going to melt into a puddle if I don't occupy it. Finally I can get around to reading all of the books I haven't been able to touch during the regular months; I've just started John le Carre's A Perfect Spy after finishing Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi's Creativity, which I'd highly recommend to anyone who's interested in original thinking and how people learn to form new connections across and within symbolic domains - science, politics, the arts, you name it. I find that now that I'm older I read a lot more non-fiction for fun.

I have a lot of my own writing that's in progress and hopefully will leave my brain and form itself into real words at some point. Maybe I'll finally get around to that Elmer Bernstein retrospective concert review I started sometime last fall. Really, it's embarrassing how tardy I can be in finishing the assignments I give myself for fun and responding to messages I've shamelessly shoved to the bottom drawer in the priorities filing cabinet of my mind. I think I meant to elaborate on that Supergirl Dilemma article st_crispins first commented on and respond to agentxpndble about John Barry and the Lion in Winter soundtrack? Sometimes I think my memory is as cluttered as my desk, and I swear I'm trying not to neglect anyone.

Comments

[dfordoom.livejournal.com]

I don't believe that they are by nature hateful or purposefully discriminative people; they just grew up with a narrow-minded battery of beliefs.

I try so hard to believe that people are basically decent, but it's just getting more and more difficult. Here in Australia we've seen an alarming upsurge in racism over the past few years. The racism has been actively promoted by conservative politicians and the media, and it's almost as if now that it seems to be socially acceptable to be racist once again more and more people are embracing it. Back in the 80s and 90s Australia was a remarkably tolerant society, but that seems to be a thing of the past. I can't tell you how depressing it is.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

This kind of phenomenon reminds me of terror management theory, which suggests that when presented with the threat and possibility of death (as bombarded to us by the media), most people are inclined to quell their existential anxiety by affirming their values and conforming to traditional social institutions. Especially in the post 9/11 era, some existential psychologists have been explaining the general return to conservatism and the slippery slope towards intolerance by this theory.

[dfordoom.livejournal.com]

The worst thing is that the conservatives realise this and exploit it for all it's worth.

[ladylavinia.livejournal.com]

I think I can safely say that most Asian immigrants lean towards the politically and culturally conservative.

I hate to say this, but I believe one can say that for just about every ethnic group . . . including my own. I find that rather sad - especially when I hear some of my own relatives sounding like a narrow-minded bigot.

Let's face it - humans possess a herd mentality and it is something they refuse to admit.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

It's a pity, isn't it, that what seems to link humans across cultures together is our general prejudice against all other groups different from us? And yet I hope that we can someday see the importance of working towards greater common goals of protecting the universal human rights of well-being and enjoying a healthy and meaningful existence.

[dfordoom.livejournal.com]

You'd think that the internet would help, but it seems to have made things worse.