(no subject)

[theladyrose]

I'm back again.

It feels so good to feel alive.  Somehow everything seems right again.  The blood blister on my right second finger fell off this morning when I was eating breakfast.  And it was the strangest thing that I saw from the kitchen window.  The sun was starting to rise and it was the most peculiar shade of pink; the exact same shade of magenta/hot pink of Cathy's hair when I last saw her.  Slowly the color diffused further and further out, slowly reaching and enveloping the clouds in a warm glow.  Magical doesn't even begin to describe it.  And I felt good again.  I could start the morning without feeling guilty.  She's happier now.  She can't be haunted anymore.  Nothing can chase or haunt or scare or hurt her now. Everything's all right.  Her parents will always be guilty, but I think (hope?) they realize the extent of their actions.  They understand her now more than they ever did when she was alive.  I think she would've wanted that.  People will finally understand that you can't just ignore mental illness and hope that it will go away.  I think they'll try to do something about it now.  Her father is a very wealthy and influential man.  I hope that he will do something to remember and honor her.  I think that he and her mother were just lost people who were too caught up in their own lives to even begin to peer into their daughter's.  I hope that changed.

I don't feel sad so much anymore when remembering her.  I don't think she would've wanted anyone to be sad.  I'll always remember how happy she was at camp, the first few days and even near the ending nights.  I think we could all understand her.  I'm wondering if I should tell Brittany about Cathy because I just got an e-mail from her.  I don't know if I should or not.  I won't mention anything just yet.

The picture on my compter background is this gorgeous sunset that's the same color has her hair.  It's damnably gorgeous; I love it.

I'm here.  Can't you see me?  I've returned.

I'll be able to really sleep for the first time in who knows how long. I love my life; I really do. I wonder if this is what reincarnation feels like; becoming a whole new person again. Being so alive that all you want to do is laugh for the purest joy.

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[(Anonymous)]

*hugs...big huge hugs* yay for happiness. ~ C.A.