i worry, i worry, in case they are wrong

[theladyrose]

I've been meaning to write a real entry for ages. I swear I will, and really it won't be angsty. But in the meantime, this poem probably best sums up how things are at the moment:

I worry about you-
So long since we spoke.
Love, are you downhearted,
Dispirited, broke?

I worry about you.
I can't sleep at night.
Are you sad? Are you lonely?
Or are you all right?

They say that men suffer
As badly, as long.
I worry, I worry,
In case they are wrong.
(Wendy Cope)

This could describe how I feel about many people, as if somehow carrying around this growing mass of angst about other people will somehow counterbalance their anguish and make it all OK.

Dad's not been doing too well lately. It's been more like a sudden shift in decline rather than a full blown avalanche, but it's hard to tell how bad things are over the phone. He's lost a tooth and got stitches around his face twice within the span of a week and a half from falling down the stairs. I'm hoping that he and mom didn't have to go to the emergency room again tonight for an uncontrollable nosebleed.

Dad's seeing his neurologist this Friday; at the very least, it'll be interesting to see what sort of effect, if any, the stem cell therapy from two years ago has on his condition.

Frankly, I wish we could reset the clock to when I was five so that my family was happy and healthy again. It kills me not being able to do anything.

Any good hopes and prayers for my parents are very much appreciated.

Comments

[azdak.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that your father is having such a hard time at the moment, and hope very much that things will get easier. And I hope that, unlike the Wendy Cope poem, the people who you love and who are suffering actually are suffering less than you and that the karmic exchange of angst is working - you suffer, so they don't have to. At the very least, it makes an enormous difference to know that someone cares.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

I never did thank you properly for introducing Wendy Cope to me; she's like a bar of peppermint-flavored chocolate on a day when you want to curl up with a fluffy blanket and keep the lights low. Not to mention that poetry's a much healthier indulgence and that laughter can do wonders for your health.

I appreciate your thoughts and hope that this will pass soon.

[azdak.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad WC is a comfort. I think she's brilliant, and there are some surpisingly keen insights under the humour and witty rhymes.

Still thinking of you...

[dfordoom.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry things aren't going well at the moment.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm hoping that it's just a phase that will pass at some point.

[gandydancer.livejournal.com]

please know that i will be thinking good thoughts for you and for your family.

much love to you and to them both, and extra love and good thoughts especially for your dad.

[theladyrose.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I definitely appreciate it. I really hope things turn around.

Hope all is well with you, too.