déjà vu

Apr. 6th, 2006 12:18 am
theladyrose: (Default)
Don't you hate it when no matter how much or how little sleep you get you feel perpetually exhausted?

That pretty much sums up the past two weeks or so. It explains a lot, at least in my mind.

The idea of Spring Break is starting to scare me. All that free time-I can't figure out how I'm going to fill up all of those hours. I really need to start preparing for AP exams or else I'll fail and screw up the rest of my life.

The weather bears a freaky influence over my emotions.


Feb. 15th, 2006 10:49 pm
theladyrose: (Default)
So, yesterday I asked the ever-awesome [livejournal.com profile] eyepiece_simile to help me pick out birthday cards for my two godsisters (the daughters of my godparents; does this term really exist?). It struck me only in the middle of the card-picking selection as mildly pathetic that I must actually consult my much cooler friends on such matters. It's hard to find good birthday cards, especially for pre-teen girls; you don't want to be overly cute or too cynical. I was nowhere near as cool as Kathleen at age 11 (she's turning 12 tomorrow); I just know she's going to be an awesomely gorgeous and smart and sassy homecoming queen someday. Sarah, the younger one, and I are closer in personality although I think she's a little shyer. I think I've found something that each of them will like, or so I hope.

I think my mother is concerned about my mental status as I would not stop singing random fragments of "So Long, Farewell" from the Sound of Music slightly off-key for half an hour straight while washing the dishes. If I were in her position I'd probably be slightly weirded-out, too. But there's just something about TSOM that makes me frightfully cheery for extended periods of time. And in winter I could use extra doses of shiny melodies. The lovely sunny weather lately has been helping tremendously; I hope it lasts for as long as possible. I'm starting to believe that I won't be able to live anywhere with actual fall and winter; I'm afraid I'd get too depressed.

For some reason in winter I always feel more tired; sleeping doesn't make me feel any more rested than being awake. My usual method of blasting awesomely cool orchestral jazz/instrumentals and techno on my way to the IHL is starting to wear off a little in its energy-boosting powers. Normally I swear it's better than caffeine, which I never consume in the morning anyway. I'd rather not form some kind of addiction until I really need it (i.e. at uni).
theladyrose: (Default)
Just finished Mrs. Dalloway and all of my AP Euro reading, including the optional stuff, for the next two and a half weeks. Booyeah! It's scary to think that I actually get more work done staying home on a sick day than being at the IHL (Institution of Higher Learning).

I think I've just trashed my sleep schedule (it's possible?)-I slept for about 11 hours straight until the people who will be remodeling the bathrooms showed up. I honestly can't remember the last time I did such a thing, sleeping for so long.

Originally I set out to write up my senior talk as I came up with a more brilliant idea than the last (which means nothing, really). Of course, I ended up only putting two words down: "Most people." But it's the idea that counts, right? Right.

I have no idea why I can't be motivated to e-mail Harvard friends right now; sorry, Adrienne. It's not that I don't love all of them...it's just that my priorities are messed up and yet I manage to procrastinate on stuff that I want to do.
theladyrose: (Default)
Reading about punishment for the last forty five minutes was a lot less depressing than I expected it to be, but I'm about to give up on reading the 13 pages left in the chapter tonight as my mental processes progressively resemble those of what I'd imagine to be a zombie.

I wonder when I will stop being suspicious of people whom I don't know well when they ask me about anything somewhat personal. It is highly doubtful that my journalism instructor has any alterior motives, but I doubt that I will overcome my cynicism about journalism so soon. That doesn't mean to say that I consider my instructor to be a terrible human being, but even the best journalists seem to be excessively preoccupied with furthering their own careers rather than trying to impart news to the public.

I guess I'm a cynical optimist then?
theladyrose: (Default)
My lovely post about why Michael Giacchino ought to score Casino Royale was so cruelly wiped out when my laptop froze on me. Gah! There goes an hour and a half of trying to compile my Giacchino reviews.

The prospect of leaving Harvard is worrying me already; now I feel that I need to weigh my time carefully for fear of letting a few idle hours slip past. I can't picture not randomly wandering into friends' rooms at semi-strange hours of the evening to get frozen yogurt or boba or to make a trip over to the Trader Joe's along the river. I actually bother to motivate myself to interact with people in person more than twice a day. The greatest surprise for me is that people actually bother to do stuff together. Back in Pleasantview during the weekends, nobody ever asks, "Hey, do you want to go out to get lunch?" or "Want to do something, anything, just to get out of the house?" It could be my own lack of initiative, of course, but this whole face-to-face interaction really is something I could get used to. I can't picture not being able to randomly wander around at night.

I've been somewhat surprised to realize that the actual Harvard undergrads here are fairly normal human beings-and to be honest, a lot of them are a lot stupider than I expected, or perhaps they really tone down on emitting intellectual vibes outside of class.

Perhaps I'll go to bed before 3:30 AM, but that's highly unlikely considering my baseline behavior at the moment.
theladyrose: (Default)
Legally insane? Me?

Pah, you must be kidding! I've never been legally insane before.

But I must admit, there is something rather disturbing about feeling freakishly functional/hyperactive considering that I'm not really sure when I went to bed last night. I'll probably regret this later when I discover that I just killed off a few hundred neurons, but I will enjoy my semi-calm, semi-WHEEE! state.

And I swear, I haven't touched any soma or other sketchy chemical agents lately.
theladyrose: (Default)
Some things weren't meant to be played in an orchestral arrangement, like the very pop-flavored title theme for "the Persuaders."

Oh goodness-I'm seeing the sun starting to rise. I have to get over this insomnia or else I'll be completely screwed for class for the next few weeks and when I return home.
theladyrose: (Default)
Caffeine on a relatively empty stomach is bad for you, especially if you're drinking it sort of late in the evening. Why don't I ever bother to consider these simple consequences beforehand?

Perhaps I ought to try to get some sleep now and hope that I'll recover from the mental weirdness in the morning? There's so much I still have to do for class, though....

double life

Jul. 1st, 2005 02:24 pm
theladyrose: (Default)
It is a very bad idea to smash one's right index finger-or any other finger for that matter-into a pool table when trying to hit a cue ball. Just for the record, it's also very possible to balance an ice cube on top of one's bruised finger while typing for several seconds at a time. Danielle and her friend, Maya, taught me how to play pool yesterday, and Danielle and I went back to the common area underneath the cafeteria, Annenberg, to practice some more pool. Somehow I managed to cause tremendous pain to the same area on the same finger-right at the joint, oh joy-two days in a row. And yet my roommate is convinced that I am "graceful" which is possibly one of the strangest things anyone has ever said about me. After icing my finger for a good two hours it's feeling much less stiff and swollen, so I hope that in the morning I'll still be able to write with my right hand.

I am developing some not-so-great habits in my state of near total independence, and tomorrow will be the official end of my first week here at Harvard. For one thing, when I don't have an early class I wake up late in the morning because I simply can't motivate my lazy self to get out of bed. Lately I've been having lunch at around 3 in the afternoon and have taken to drinking bubble (boba) tea instead of having dinner because I'm never very hungry at the appropriate times. And I could really get used to spending all my time in Cambridge late at night and going on day trips to Boston instead of getting my behaviorism reading done. Not that I'd skip it-I just am so tempted to do it at the last minute.

Danielle, Mekki, and I originally wanted to go the Aquarium today but ended up getting off at the Government Center T stop instead to explore Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market. I could really get used to the random, interesting conversations I've been having with various dorm mates at strange times of the day. The bathroom is a surprisingly great place to meet people if you go in there between 11 PM and 1:30 AM. I really need to stop going to bed so ridiculously late; by the time I get in bed it will be around 3 AM. Let's see how successful I'll be in getting up by 10 AM so I can shower, go the mandatory meeting with my psych tutor, and get my reading done tomorrow so I can go to the chime bell ringing demonstration in Boston on Sunday...
theladyrose: (Default)
LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:theladyrose
Your haiku:my left ankle...for
the third time this for whom the
rooster crows pity
Created by Grahame

I finish homework at 9:15, and I procrastinate for another hour and fifteen minutes though I feel really tired. My foolishness never ceases to amaze me.
theladyrose: (Default)
The lack of sleep is getting to me.

Mental debate: satire of a history essay (thanks, Adric!) or satire of Bush and sports? Or neither, if I'm not allowed. Bah. A little Bush-bashing never hurt.
theladyrose: (Default)
It's a pity the title reminds me of that stupid headline for the first day issue of the paper. Gah. Why must I come up with the cheesiest headlines in existence? Tabloids look almost classy in comparison...

Feeling VERY tired. Hmmm, I wonder why. Stupid rooster. My neighbor's rooster, of course, finds the most inconvenient times to start crowing like mad. Like today, after my three-day weekend. Gah. Lucky taity. He gets a 2 week holiday! And he has something like 4 months of school left.

I'm almost dreaming of sleep. Stupid stupid rooster.

I almost admire my complete idiocy. The Avengers '67 DVD I rented turned out to have three episodes that I've already seen! Baah. Thankfully 2/3 are some of my absolute favorites. I must've mixed up the DVD's on the shelf or something. I watched "The Hidden Tiger" last night before going to bed, tee hee. I don't care if it's just mildly cheesy, I love it! Mwahahahahaha. I'm not an obsessive fan, am I? Actually, there seem to be quite a few more Avengers fans out there. Then again, I'm probably one of the youngest, along with Martina. But there's nothing wrong with being mildly obsessed with a cult British '60's show, is there? Of course not.

I had the Avengers theme (ending credits) stuck in my head this morning, and somehow it morphed into "All I Care About" from Chicago. I think my brain is suffering from too many times of being hit against random objects when walking. At least my left eye isn't twitching.


theladyrose: (Default)

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